Vickie J Blair
Thoughts Along Life's Journey
When This Present Journey Began
Here is a quick summary of events which began five weeks ago:
January 16, 2012
I arrive at the Women’s Center of the Southeast Alabama Medical Center at 8:00am. The staff are extremely kind, compassionate, and helpful as always. I receive a core-needle biopsy to the right breast. Two mammograms received the previous week suggest a “suspicious area”. There are no thoughts in my mind of cancer as I have a history of cysts. One was surgically removed; several others were drained by fine needle aspiration. Although I had never had a biopsy, it still remained in the “just routine” category of my thinking.
That night I go to bed and reach for my Bible. I like to read through a book at a time, had just finished one particular book, and was ready to begin another. First Peter came strongly to mind. I’ve read First and Second Peter many times in my life but as I turned to the book I was giving no thought as to what Peter was about. I began with verse one. When I read verse six, it felt as if it had been written there, all those years ago, just for me, just for now. “So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for awhile.” (NLT) I could feel my heart beating hard as I read the words again and then continued with verse seven. “These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold – and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold…” (NLT) It was at that precise moment, with heart pounding, and an overwhelming sense of God’s presence, I thought to myself, “I’ve got cancer.” The second thought, “It’s okay.” The third thought was an awareness of Father speaking right into my heart the words, “This is an opportunity to seize; not a curse to endure.” At this point I was aware of my mouth. It was turned into a smile. It wouldn’t go away. There was too much inexpressible and unexplainable joy, a quiet and peaceful joy, filling me up. I talked with Father for awhile telling Him He has never given me a reason not to trust Him and I wouldn’t start now. I remember thanking Him for trusting me with this opportunity. I immediately began to think of all the people I might now meet who wouldn’t otherwise cross my path. Then I closed my eyes and slept deeply and peacefully.
January 18, 2012
The hospital phones with the biopsy results. Of course I’m not surprised as God Himself has already told me it’s cancer. Therefore, the news for me is not difficult to hear but when I hang up the phone, I pray for help as I go to tell the news to my parents. For me, this was the worst part of it all. They’ve just come through so much in previous weeks. My Dad’s two heart surgeries, my Mom’s fall resulting in splints on both arms while having the most horrible cold at the same time. Dad is still recovering. I see Mom is so tired and I have to give them this news on top of it all.
I walk into the room where they are waiting. “Mom and Dad, I’m so sorry to have to tell you this,” I begin. “You’ve been through so much.” I pause and add, “I’m sorry. It’s cancer.” I remember my Mom saying, “Oh no,” and covering her mouth with her hands as she stands to come and hug me. Dad stands too and I see two single tears trickle down each cheek. Seeing them makes me cry too and I feel their love and hurt and grief as the three of us hug in a triangle. Then Dad begins to pray and a calm settles. After a while we step back and we all know we will get through this. How could we not? God Himself is in the midst.
January 27, 2012
I arrive in England. I’ve had a permanent residency in the UK for 13 years which wonderfully allows me the blessing of free medical care under the UK National Health System. I have tried in past years to get medical insurance in the USA. On each occasion my application was denied as the insurance companies considered I worked in a high-risk area of Central Asia. Therefore, medical coverage was denied, but as we see, God had plans fo my care.
February 9, 2012
I have my first appointment with the surgeon. He studies my radiographs and path lab reports from the US. He performs an additional ultrasound which reveals multiple cycts in both breasts. He informs me his team will meet, discuss the week’s cases, of which I am one, and will see me the following week to discuss a plan together.
February 17, 2012
The surgeon and I have agreed upon a plan and I am completely peaceful and calm throughout. On March 13th I am schedulded for a double mastectomy. The surgeon, his two nurses, and I are even laughing together over various things and I get to tell them some Kyrgyzstan stories. All is peaceful and even joyful. As I leave the hospital I am so exhilirated, I can’t even go straight home so I drive along the seafront. Father’s words repeat over and over, “This is an opportunity to seize; not a curse to endure.” My imagination grows in anticipation of how Father is going to use this. I find myself telling Him I so want to be able to encourage others in their own “fiery trials” that life brings to us all. Life is not always easy…but it never has to be absolutely bad. I have watched Father in so many people’s lives, going through hard times, especially over the years in Central Asia, and I have watched God Himself be courage and peace and joy and strength in the most difficult of circumstances. Watching people in Central Asia stand strong in their own faith has always been such a tremendous encouaragement to me in my own walk with God. Now I find myself in a situation unexpected, and, of course, never desired….but there nonetheless and so far…..this uninvited journey is proving to be one filled with calm and surprising joy in the presence of a storm.
46 Comments on “When This Present Journey Began”
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You are a wonderful example of God’s love and grace. We will continue to pray for you and your recovery so that you can continue your great mission work. Thank you for such an uplifting blog–know that God will continue to bless you.
Hi Sis,
Don’t worry the generator will work. Trust me that was my job. We have our LCO prayer meeting tonight and you know that will be lifted up. If you feel your feet are not on the floor at about 7:30 it is only us in prayer for you. As many have already said we are all proud to be a part of His prayer army for you. This is global mobilisation and guess what? ”You are responsible”. Praise God!!!!
Big Hugs!!
Colin & Sue
Dear Vickie,
My wish for you is that you stay strong in your faith. God is Great and He will do a miracle! Many older and younger people are praying for you in Kyrgyzstan and in Russia. I have asked many people to pray for you. All of them want to pray and fast for your surgery and recovery.
I believe everything will be OK and you will recover well.
I love you.
Natasha
Vickie I just read your blog, when I read it we were sitting in the loan dept in ariton and I could just see you telling the story the way you did back then I almost was exicited if it was some other story you was telling. We pray for you in our Tuesday night Bible study and you are always on my mind and in my prayers. I’m as worried about no family just friends with you as I use to be about the money when you left until you arrived over there. Love you and know that all will be well, Janet (my sister) just went through this praise God all is well with her. I wll be praying and waiting to hear.
Hello Vickie,
Just back from cardiff. I have noted the new date for the surgery and will be THERE when you wake up just as you were there for me when I woke up. Always in the secure arms of the Lord and in the midst of it all always giving praise to Him.
Cathy
Helllo Vickie,
It is very important to remember that we are still “human” and that human reactions are OK God does not ask us to be Super Spiritual Champions in the face of adversity, only to trust Him and you are doing just that.
Any operation is by no means a small matter; it is a big thing and for a woman a breast operation is mightier. Very likely our mind will go on over-drive and take us to places when we do not want to go. We think of the Lord Jesus at Gethsemane, even He wavered for one instant.
Keep your eyes upon Him dear Vickie and He will carry you in His arms and little by little dispell the anxiety which you are experiencing. He knows and that is all that matters.
Why am I not surprised? With all the worldwide prayer going on for you, girlfriend, I would not put it past our Pappa to chage everything – and I mean everything! With God, nothing is impossible, or like it says in the Message, “…every chance in the world if you let God do it.”. Mark 10:27. 😘
Hearing about the messing up of the NHS is no surprise for us Brits who have learned, sadly, to live with it and all its craziness. But God is not like the NHS!! He is completely independent of it and of anything else that in our human state we need to rely on to help us. So, just remember dear Friend,….HE is OUR VERY PRESENT HELP IN TROUBLE and HE NEVER MESSES UP!
Love You,
Cx
Dear Vickie, I am so thankful to the Lord that one day you landed in Kyrgyzstan (the country of beautiful mountains, turbulent rivers, and unpredictable temper). I know it was the will of our Heavenly Father to bring you there, so that you could tell Kyrgyz people about Jesus and Salvation. I am so proud to be a small particle of that great job that you have done for the people of this country. Dear Vickie, it’s you who showed me how great is God’s love and how wonderful is to be in His loving and caring hands. It’s so hard to believe that you have to go through this trial now, but we all know that there is nothing in this world that can shake us in our faith. I know God wants to show a miracle. It is so wonderful that He hears all our prayers and He has already planned your recovery and your future life full of wonderful events. Your recovery will be a great testimony for hundreds of people. They need to know how Great Is our GOD! They need to know that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM! My dearest friend Vickie, you are always in my prayers and in my heart. I know Lord will let you know what decision to make. I wish you to gain peace and confidence. Close your eyes and fall in Lords Hands and He will take care of you. We all are human and each of us can face this situation one day. Now I have an example of how to take sharp curves in life. Thank you Vickie for being so strong and calm.Thank you for creating such a wonderful blog. The way you put your story as very touching and peaceful.
Love you dear Vickie.
Larisa K.
Vickie:
You are the strongest, most brave person we know. We know you will receive the peace from God and He will lead you to making rhe right decision about your surgery. We KNOW God will be with you surrounding you with His love and protection. You are in our daily prayers and always in our hearts.