Vickie J Blair
Thoughts Along Life's Journey
When This Present Journey Began
Here is a quick summary of events which began five weeks ago:
January 16, 2012
I arrive at the Women’s Center of the Southeast Alabama Medical Center at 8:00am. The staff are extremely kind, compassionate, and helpful as always. I receive a core-needle biopsy to the right breast. Two mammograms received the previous week suggest a “suspicious area”. There are no thoughts in my mind of cancer as I have a history of cysts. One was surgically removed; several others were drained by fine needle aspiration. Although I had never had a biopsy, it still remained in the “just routine” category of my thinking.
That night I go to bed and reach for my Bible. I like to read through a book at a time, had just finished one particular book, and was ready to begin another. First Peter came strongly to mind. I’ve read First and Second Peter many times in my life but as I turned to the book I was giving no thought as to what Peter was about. I began with verse one. When I read verse six, it felt as if it had been written there, all those years ago, just for me, just for now. “So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for awhile.” (NLT) I could feel my heart beating hard as I read the words again and then continued with verse seven. “These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold – and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold…” (NLT) It was at that precise moment, with heart pounding, and an overwhelming sense of God’s presence, I thought to myself, “I’ve got cancer.” The second thought, “It’s okay.” The third thought was an awareness of Father speaking right into my heart the words, “This is an opportunity to seize; not a curse to endure.” At this point I was aware of my mouth. It was turned into a smile. It wouldn’t go away. There was too much inexpressible and unexplainable joy, a quiet and peaceful joy, filling me up. I talked with Father for awhile telling Him He has never given me a reason not to trust Him and I wouldn’t start now. I remember thanking Him for trusting me with this opportunity. I immediately began to think of all the people I might now meet who wouldn’t otherwise cross my path. Then I closed my eyes and slept deeply and peacefully.
January 18, 2012
The hospital phones with the biopsy results. Of course I’m not surprised as God Himself has already told me it’s cancer. Therefore, the news for me is not difficult to hear but when I hang up the phone, I pray for help as I go to tell the news to my parents. For me, this was the worst part of it all. They’ve just come through so much in previous weeks. My Dad’s two heart surgeries, my Mom’s fall resulting in splints on both arms while having the most horrible cold at the same time. Dad is still recovering. I see Mom is so tired and I have to give them this news on top of it all.
I walk into the room where they are waiting. “Mom and Dad, I’m so sorry to have to tell you this,” I begin. “You’ve been through so much.” I pause and add, “I’m sorry. It’s cancer.” I remember my Mom saying, “Oh no,” and covering her mouth with her hands as she stands to come and hug me. Dad stands too and I see two single tears trickle down each cheek. Seeing them makes me cry too and I feel their love and hurt and grief as the three of us hug in a triangle. Then Dad begins to pray and a calm settles. After a while we step back and we all know we will get through this. How could we not? God Himself is in the midst.
January 27, 2012
I arrive in England. I’ve had a permanent residency in the UK for 13 years which wonderfully allows me the blessing of free medical care under the UK National Health System. I have tried in past years to get medical insurance in the USA. On each occasion my application was denied as the insurance companies considered I worked in a high-risk area of Central Asia. Therefore, medical coverage was denied, but as we see, God had plans fo my care.
February 9, 2012
I have my first appointment with the surgeon. He studies my radiographs and path lab reports from the US. He performs an additional ultrasound which reveals multiple cycts in both breasts. He informs me his team will meet, discuss the week’s cases, of which I am one, and will see me the following week to discuss a plan together.
February 17, 2012
The surgeon and I have agreed upon a plan and I am completely peaceful and calm throughout. On March 13th I am schedulded for a double mastectomy. The surgeon, his two nurses, and I are even laughing together over various things and I get to tell them some Kyrgyzstan stories. All is peaceful and even joyful. As I leave the hospital I am so exhilirated, I can’t even go straight home so I drive along the seafront. Father’s words repeat over and over, “This is an opportunity to seize; not a curse to endure.” My imagination grows in anticipation of how Father is going to use this. I find myself telling Him I so want to be able to encourage others in their own “fiery trials” that life brings to us all. Life is not always easy…but it never has to be absolutely bad. I have watched Father in so many people’s lives, going through hard times, especially over the years in Central Asia, and I have watched God Himself be courage and peace and joy and strength in the most difficult of circumstances. Watching people in Central Asia stand strong in their own faith has always been such a tremendous encouaragement to me in my own walk with God. Now I find myself in a situation unexpected, and, of course, never desired….but there nonetheless and so far…..this uninvited journey is proving to be one filled with calm and surprising joy in the presence of a storm.
46 Comments on “When This Present Journey Began”
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Vickie: When I think about what pure and absolute faith in God means I always think about you and your parents! You reflect God’s love in your face and your life is a true testament to your joy, dedication and trust. You, Pat and Dr. Brother Chuck have always been such a rich and wonderful blessing to all our family and all those who are so blessed to know you.
You and your parents are in our daily prayers and always in in our hearts. We know that God answers prayers for we have wittnessed it time and again with our precious Kristin. I know that He will give to you both strength, comfort and healing and always His love!
We love you dearly and we know God will be with you through your surgery and recovery and will use this “bump in the road” for great good.
With our love and prayers always,
Gloria and Shelby
Vickie,
You know how much I already love you. This is just one more reason to add to the list. Who but Vickie with a faith as big as the ocean could turn such an diagnosis into this beautiful story of grace and mercy. God is so good to bring people like you into our lives. Love you!
Scarlett
More than 20 years have passed since the day when you landed in Bishkek, tragic days of the 1991 coup d’etat. We, the locals, were staying at homes behind the locked doors, scared to pop out even to buy bread. But you immediately started working. Nothing could petrify you, nothing can, and nothing will ever be able to. You are so brave, because you are so strong in your FAITH and LOVE. You’ve been with us through so many troubled times, always praying for us and giving your helping hand to so many people in Kyrgyzstan.
Your friends are so right – you are a warrior. You’ve never surrendered. Your deadly infected kidney, swollen eyes (you nearly lost the ability to see), your sore back that didn’t allow you to stand straight (but you continued your flight to Osh) several revolutions that followed one another ( when the streets were stained with blood), food shortage ( when you only ate potatoes for
months) – nothing could make you leave your battlefield – Kyrgyzstan and our beloved Project Kyrgyzstan. I know the only time when I saw you scared – when Project Kyrgyzstan bought a car for “Shepherd’s Table” and I was the only one in PK who could drive and you were the only one who pulled yourself together and accompanied me. You were a bit pale with a nervous smile…..
Can you imagine how many people in Kyrgyzstan are praying for you now? The PK staff there, in Australia, In America – even though we are far, we’ll always be the PK staff- all the churches that we work with, Sveta and all the mum’s of the disabled kids, the orphanages, the school for blind children, the retirement village, those elderly people who are given food and free medical care,
and ALL the people who know you!!!
Just close your eyes and see how big is our army – the army of your friends!!!!!
We shall overcome!!!
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE
Irinie
Irinie, Vickie has told us so many stories about you. When I saw your name I was so excited! You have been in my prayers for years. I feel like I have actually got to meet you.
Martha Harden
Vickie Mae,
Mama had told me about this a couple of weeks ago and you have been in my prayers. I saw the link to your blog on Miss Brenda’s FB page today. I am so glad I am going to be able follow your journey here and pray for you all the way! I love you and can’t wait to see how He uses you once again, through this.
Much love,
Jessica
Vickie, your comments on the last entry (FEB 17) are the things I thougtht as I prepared for knee replacement and hip replacement last year.
I went to the hospital thinking…………’how are you going to use this Lord?’
And then asked myself….’how do YOU WANT ME to use this for your glory.
I have had MANY ways to glorify him and reach out to others throug a year of recupertion from the surgeries.
A favorite scripture of mine was: Psalms 34:4. It helped me go to surgery with complete peace.
May the Father give you peace and joy through it all.
Paula Cstleberry, Eclectic UMC.
My sister in Christ, how God moves in the lives of His children. How blessed we are to be His children. Hannah Whitehall Smith says in her book, “How to be a Happy Christian”, that as God’s children it is like God puts a bubble of protection around us and absolutely nothing penetrates that bubble unless God allows it. How true this is as you know. Therefore Romans 8:28 is the soft pillow on which we can rest our heads. As we walk with God He prepares us for what’s ahead in this life. At the beginning of my sickness one of my main prayers was that He would enable me to be a good witness for Him, no matter what. I again have been experiencing some medical problems and my last visit with a blood specialist in Dothan he told me he thinks I have lymphoma or hairy cell lukemia. He did a biopsy on February 21st and will have the results on March 1st. How wonderful that my God gave me several months of good health after the doctors told me I would not get any better. Again, He has chosen to allow things to get into my bubble, and again I praise Him and trust Him, and am at complete peace. Vickie, you are such an inspiration to me and others, and it is my prayer that I too may be an inspiration to others to love Jesus and trust Him. To God be the glory, in His love, Clarence.
Hi Sis,
As usual you have started yet another ball rolling which again will cause others to be Blessed and knocked over. We pray that through this experience the Lord will touch others. We Love You LotsXX Colin & Sue
You continue to be an inspriation! may God strengthen and refine your faith till you wonder how you could have lived before. may you know his hand upon your life every step of the way.
Wow….what a blog this is going to be!! We watch this space (with a large part of the rest of the World!!)
You know we are here if you need anything (even a visit from Spud!!) and we journey with you in our love and prayers.
Chrystabell, Ted and SpudnywudkinXX
You have been a blessing to my family and me for many years. My Westside Family continues to ask about you. Please know that you are on our prayer list.